March 21, 2012

Writing What You Know - The Great Debate by Lila Munro

Assumed Identity.
Before I get started, I would just like to thank Kayelle and the gang for hosting me today and allowing me to take over the blog here for a few hours today. The invite and space is much appreciated and I look forward to chatting it up with the readers here and coming back again soon. I most thoroughly enjoy meeting new people and talking about…what I know.
It's the great debate lately it seems. Writers are going back and forth constantly on all the social networks, duking it out about some of the oldest and wisest advice I've ever been given as an author by other seasoned and intelligent authors…writing what you know.

The most prevalent argument I've seen in the great debate is that writing what you know limits one's ability to tell the story for lack of material. Ummm…I must humbly disagree with that. For a few reasons, the first being you have a lifetime of experience to draw on for material. Unless you've sequestered yourself and lived as a hermit, you have more material to draw from than you can probably shake a stick at. Actually, if I were to be brutally honest here—and as is my way occasionally I will admit—saying your stories would be limited in content for lack of material if you wrote what you knew is in my opinion a bit self-degrading. Are you saying you know so little you can't draw from your knowledge base? Please, please, writers don't do that to yourselves. Give yourselves more credit than that.

I'll help…let's make a list of common life occurrences we can draw from and I'll share a list of my perhaps uncommon life occurrences and maybe you'll begin to see that writing what you know can be so easy if you just let it be. Here goes. Common life occurrences: being bullied (who hasn't been?), lived through puberty, dated the worst guy possible, dated the best guy possible, dated the worst girl possible, dated the best girl possible, visited a zoo, visited a museum, visited a circus, have been out to dinner, have attended at least one formal function, graduated—in some cases more than once—from some institution or other, had child or two or a dozen, married, divorced, bought a house, drank at least one alcoholic drink and probably before you were of age, lost your virginity, survived the first kiss, gone bowling, played a musical instrument, been to a concert, hated yourself the next day, looked in the mirror and wondered who the hell was looking back…

Any of that ring a bell? 

Now here are a few of my uncommon experiences at least in my opinion: lived in Okinawa, Japan, lived in four states in less than ten years, possessed driver's licenses in five states and an overseas driving permit, filed taxes federally and in three states in one year—yes it was a nightmare, tried SCUBA and chickened out before the final test, slept in the floor of the Seattle airport overnight waiting for a transport overseas—most uncomfortable, accidentally ate horse meat thanks to a "friend" who thought it was quite amusing…

You see writing what you know doesn't mean you need to be a brain surgeon. It means you need to be human with human experiences to draw from. Which brings me to another reason I disagree with the assessment that to write what we know would be limiting our material. How many of us are brain surgeons? **cue crickets** That's what I thought…me either. I'm a military wife in case you hadn't already figured that out from my uncommon experiences list. J So how does one write a brain surgeon if one is not?

It's so simple…research. Then you know. Writing is a learning experience as much as it is providing entertainment for others. Don't let what your know limit what you write because you can expand your what you know list every single day through research and living—which requires writers to leave their chairs and leave the confines of their homes, which I do often and enjoy it immensely…but that's a post for another day…J
About the Author
 Lila Munro currently resides on the coast of North Carolina with her husband and their two four-legged kids. She's a military wife with an empty nest and takes much of her inspiration for her heroes from the marines she's lived around for the past fifteen years. Coining the term realmantica, she strives to produce quality romance in a realistic setting. Her genre of choice is contemporary romance that spans everything from the sensual to BDSM and ménage. When she's not writing, she enjoys reading everything she can get her hands on, trips to the museum and aquarium, taking field research trips, and soaking up the sun on the nearby beaches. Her works include The Executive Officer's Wife, Bound By Trust, Destiny's Fire, Salvation, Three for Keeps, the Force Recon series, the Slower Lower series, and the Identity series. She's a member in good standing of RWA and Passionate Ink. Currently she's working on sequels to several series to be released throughout 2012. And has a brand new line scheduled for winter 2012-13. Ms. Munro loves to hear from her readers and can be contacted via her website or through Facebook at You can also contact her via email at

My most recent release is Assumed Identity, book 3 in my Identity series, a contemporary romance with a BDSM twist…
True Identity
Innocent childhood games of dress-up and pretend…

Julie Stevens is as straight as they come. Or so she tries to convince herself. But it isn't easy believing that little white lie when she has the two most sexually eccentric best friends on the planet. One is a bi-sexual Domme who believes if it looks fun, try it. The other is a gay man in the role of slave to his very sexy Master whom Julie often wishes wasn't gay. Dante's commanding presence makes her want to do things that set her on fire with need and embarrassment. Given her boring vanilla life, how exactly does she fit into their world? Would they like to have a shinier third wheel?

Are a completely different animal for grownups…

After one wild evening and a bit too much liquid encouragement, Julie discovers a side of herself she's always tried to ignore. The realization she's a sub not only scares her, it excites her and she yearns for more. But the process of finding the right man to teach her becomes a real issue, until Mason comes along. He's everything Julie imagines a Dom should be. Armed with her masque and Renaissance costume, Julie is thrown for a loop when the handsome Master draws more willingness out of her than she ever thought possible. Is it possible she's more than a submissive? And will the assumptions he's made about her identity end up tearing them apart?
Please enjoy an excerpt:
Julie took the plate from Allen and watched him follow the butler away. She was sorry but a bit of anger still burned in her gut. It felt suspiciously like betrayal. Allen knew she was still warring with Shelby. Why on earth would he want them together in close proximity? If he thought to nudge them into reconciling, he could think again.

"Excuse me. Did your Master order you to stand here? If so, I'll gladly go around. If not, please move," a voice as smooth as aged whiskey washed over her left shoulder as she perused the selection of cakes Allen was insistent she eat.

"No." She gave the generic answer with an air of nonchalance without even bothering to look behind her as she selected a currant cake and placed it on the plate. She was afraid if she did lay eyes on the man, she'd fall to her knees and beg him to let her service him right there. His voice made her tummy flutter and an icy heat swept over her.

"Excuse me? Do you speak to him that way?" the voice asked as a hand reached out and tugged one of her curls just hard enough to make her pay attention.

"He's not my…I mean, no. Sir. No, Sir. I don't speak to Al…my…" Julie stopped and closed her eyes inhaling the most delicious aroma containing a hint of cloves she was certain wasn't wafting off the food. It was coming off the man managing to control her with two fingers wrapped around one curl on her head. What could he possibly do with his whole hand? "I don't have a Master, Sir. I'm here with my teacher," she said after her voice steadied. "I don't speak to him that way and I'm sorry I was rude to you, Sir."

"Mason, is that you?" Allen asked from behind her.

"Yes. Is this amusing little sub yours?" the man asked.

"Not mine. My responsibility though. What did she do?"

"May I be so bold as to ask for a formal introduction?"

"You may. She's new and she's agreed to allow me the pleasure of handling her introductions tonight," Allen said, taking the plate from Julie's hand and setting it down. "Let's move out of the crowd. Maybe somewhere quieter?"

Identity Crisis
The man named Mason turned loose of her curl after one final tug then ran his gloved fingers along the arc of her shoulder. Julie didn't look back. She kept her eyes down and followed Allen from the hall.

As he traversed the edges of the ballroom, her heart took up an irregular rhythm at the thought that she was about to encounter her first Dom aside from Allen and Dante up close and personal She was surprised he even wanted to meet her after the way she'd spoken to him. What Dom wanted a disobedient, unruly sub? A cold sweat beaded across her back at the thought perhaps he was a pure sadist and liked an out of control servant he could regularly torture. Contrary to her brain telling her that was the furthest thing from what she wanted, a silky, smooth thread of need wrapped around her heart and drew tight before winding its way down to vine around her womb, which constricted in response. She shuddered. Definitely scary.

Available at Amazon, B&N, Bookstrand and…

I'll be giving a PDF of Identity Crisis and True Identity, books one and two in this series, today. Leave me a comment and your email and I'll randomly draw a name tomorrow…Good luck and thanks for coming by!


  1. Thanks for being with us Lila. Your books look great!

  2. Hi Kayelle! Thanks for having me by. I'm going to practice what I preach and go out and live a little today. My husband returned from deployment not long ago and today we have a grand date to see Casablanca on the big screen. I'll stop in this afternoon to talk to the readers a bit. :)

  3. Hi Lila--I totally agree. Everyone has experiences that can be fascinating if told well (that's of course the trick). A glitch-plagued trip to the grocery store can be as funny & interesting as one to the Amazon. A writer should see everything that happens as potential fodder for a story. Meredith

  4. Lila, have fun! That will be a treat. Congrats on having hubby back home. I met my guy while on active duty, and know how rough deployments can be. I had a couple short ones myself - nothing dangerous, but still was away from home and family. I know how wonderful it is to come home.

    M. S. Thanks for bopping over today. You're right about potential fodder. Perhaps we writers tend to be a little dissociative when it comes to life. We step back and view what's happening as a scene instead of what's happening to us. Or maybe our coping mechanism is what makes us writers. Hmm. Food for thought!

  5. Good morning! And congrats Meredith! Looks like you get the PDF's of Identity Crisis and True Identity. :) Thanks for stopping by. The movie was great! I've seen it dozens of times but something about a big screen just makes movies sooo much better. My husband has been in 24 years now and we've been through many deployments. This time for a year and he's only home for a few weeks before leaving again, so anytime together now is time well spent. :) And I agree, our writing is as much a release valve as it is an entertainment tool, at least for me it is. Thanks again for having me over!


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