|Neptune the Briarhearted.|
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File: D.N. "Nicki" Lyons
Age: 27.1 years old
Offending Document: Neptune the Briarhearted – Book I: The Beginning
Insanity Level: Bipolar Schizophrenic.
So I woke up this morning with a blistering sinus headache. I mean, oh my God, fires of Hell, someone smashed me in the face with a spanner sinus headache. What do you think I did about that?
Yeah, it wasn't too unusual. So I just sat down, watched People's Court, and drank a disgusting concoction made of beets, spinach and assorted fruit. Then I went to the gym and lifted almost one and a half times my body weight. Pretty standard.
You see, I'm the kind of girl who lurches out of bed in the morning, cusses out the cat when her blanket smells like pee, and drinks either a metric fuckton of caffeine for breakfast or has nothing at all. I like my mornings like I like my Tetris games: hard and fast.
Recently I published my first novel, Neptune the Briarhearted – Book I: The Beginning. It's a lovely little tale, filled with humor, dark Lords, demons and magic, all mixed up in a pot with a black-skinned, blonde-haired Wizard. Genetic limitations have no meaning to the Planetaries.
This is in the same world (though far before that time) as "What Flavor Are You?" a short story that is definitely not meant for the kiddies. But this one—Neptune the Briarhearted, that is—is YA. Harry Potter kinda stuff, or Lord of the Rings. Not adult in content—and kids like Wizards and Elves a lot more than adults do, to hear my local librarians talk. (The hand-drawn graphic novel type cover is a plus.)
So…if you want it, you can either order a preorder copy directly from me (only 59 of the limited print are left, and they are signed and numbered in the back, autographed in the front), or rush to your local bookstore to have them carry it. If you ask Amazon really nicely, they might put it on the Kindle. ^_^
And hey—Don't be a stranger! Come on over to my neck of the woods sometime.
Buy a first print: (PayPal is the only online payer I use right now. But snail mail or Western Union is also o.k.…just no cash. Personal checks are fine too.)
locke.saintaugustin (at) rocketmail.com
Get in touch: (Add me as a friend! I don't bite. And if your kiddies want a poster, ask here.)