May 14, 2014

Funny Words and New Paraprosdokians @JeanHartStewart #RLFblog #humor #elves

Fearless Pursuit 
Romance Lives Forever welcomes Jean Hart Stewart to the blog.
One of my good friends sent me a new list of paraprosdokians, those crazy phrases where the first sentence makes a statement, and the next phrase changes the meaning in an unexpected way. A fairly new word to me, and a fun one.
So here are some of the most clever and funniest ones.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. If I agree with you, then we'd both be wrong.
4. We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.
5. War does not determine who is right. Only who is left.
6. They begin the evening news with 'Good evening.' And then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
7. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and beer belly and still think they are sexy.
8. A clear conscience is a sign of a fuzzy memory.
9. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
10.Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Love these crazy but wise things. I think no. 4 is my favorite, at least for today.
I find I get tired of blogs which tell only what that person thinks. I don't like just blurbs of a book with no excerpt, either. I want to be entertained and intrigued.


So here's an excerpt from Fearless Pursuit, released May 9th. The fifth book in my series about sexy, long-haired elves, it combines two drool-worthy heroes, and a villain who is after no only them but the children in their care.
"He pressed his stiff rod against her as she wiggled her hips against him as she sighed with pleasure.
"You're really back. Somehow I think you've got something delicious in mind."
He grinned. "I do. And I intend to explore my thoughts in the best possible way."
He shifted her so his stone-hard cock was nudging her cunt as he lifted one hand to her pouting nipples.
"Oh lord of all the elves. You are so damn irresistible."
She smiled and tweaked the hairs on his chest.
He kissed her deeply, his tongue urging her lips apart until she opened them and he plunged in. She hesitated for an instant and then let her tongue mingle with his. Rurik tasted her and almost lost his control. Just in time he remembered this must be new to her. He'd never doubted she was a virgin, in spite of that ass Bartolini's insinuations. Purity shown from her eyes, especially when she was singing and every clear note revealed her essential self.
He held her closely with one hand around her shoulder, letting his other roam, caressing each breast and kissing his way to her nipples. Sucking each in turn brought little puffs of delight and he moved his fingers down to her delectable ass. Pressing her hips hard against his raging cock, he somehow kept from plunging into her like a maniac. Reaching down, he felt between her legs and found her as wet as he desired. He easily found her clit and nudged her hips apart with his knee.
He'd never felt such overwhelming desire. Not that he'd been promiscuous but women seemed to find him attractive and he let himself be caught now and then. He'd never had a long-lasting affair. Knowing his time with Reina would be forever changed everything. He needed this to be as good for her as it was for him.
Even through the haze of passion he realized her body had stiffened. Lifting his head, he looked into huge, frightened eyes.
Still she smiled at time, trying to mask her near-terror.
"Don't stop, Rurik. I'll get used to all this."
Nothing could have halted him as quickly as this brave declaration.
He withdrew his cock, willing it to subside so it wasn't so painful, and rolled on his back beside her, one hand on her hip.
Tears rolled down her cheeks and he sighed and tucked her close to him with one arm. He didn't think he'd ever had such a hard time trying to sound normal.
"Tell me, love, what you saw just now. I love you and always will but I want you to want me in just the same way. Was it a remembrance of Bartolini trying to rape you?"
She shook her head. "No, it was the times I screamed and pushed him away and he'd call his wife into the room and use her unmercifully. She'd scream and he'd slap her, fling her on the floor and walk out. She'd lie there crying and I knew she'd taken my place in his obscene desires. I knew he'd soon do the same thing to me. I know it won't be like that with you. I'll be glad to do what you want."
Rurik sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He'd rushed her. He'd let his passion rule him and he needed to give her more time. Pray all the elves he could overcome this new barrier with the woman he loved.
Her body was twitching and she didn't even know what was wrong. He wanted her willing to accept his body. More than willing, he wanted her eager. Perhaps he could show her some pleasure and build on that."

About the Book
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Fearless Pursuit
His pointed ears betray his elfin heritage, bur Rurik is content to ignore it. But when he meets the beautiful singer, Reina his world turns upside down. To claim her he must leave his beloved scholarly research and learn to use his elfin powers, Becoming a helpful elf in his father's clinic is not at all the way he'd planned his life, but Reina is worth the upheaval. He learns to cherish two darling children who need his special powers. He finds he will do anything to secure Reina, but even that might not be enough. He must fight to secure the safety of Reina and both children, no matter the heartbreak involved.
Jake, the younger brother is equally sexy and even more reluctant to acknowledge he's and elf. But Rurik needs help against the sadistic villain after both Reina and the children, and Jake cannot refuse. He then leaves, rejecting his powers and his destiny.
Let these handsome elves warm your passions and your heart.

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About the Author

Love living in California, even though I'm a transplant. Love writing and all it entails, crazy characters demanding to be let loose on the page, long hours of research, every bit of it. I raised two children and spent about twenty years in real estate before I summoned the courage to quit and do what I always wanted to do, WRITE! While he was alive my husband was my first-stop editor and biggest fan. Now that my children are accustomed, well, more or less, to my writing sexy novels they're equally supportive.
I'm currently writing my 34th book, tentatively named Defiant Pursuit. I've done historicals, a series of romances with Druids, another with Mages, and am well into this new series where the hero has Elfin blood. He's fun, as well as tall, lithe and gifted. And did I say sexy? My elves are my first venture into writing erotica, and it's harder than you think as well as fun. This last book in the series, Defiant Pursuit, will feature an elf as the heroine. I'm blessed as well as lucky. I love to hear from readers!
You can find me at Ellora's Cave, Amazon, Kindle, Barnes and Noble, Facebook, Twitter, etc. My website is And I dearly love comments, and will pick at least one winner per day on this tour to get a free e-copy of any of my books. So do tell me what you think. You can leave a comment on this blog.

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